User:Hoegaarden

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SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAKK


Hoegaarden, the man, the mystery, the hivemind. The most bitter goon alive. Although often vilified for his pathological inability to let go of the past, history has shown him to be a much better (if less amusing) CEO than Remedial.

One of the first generations of Goonfleeteers, Hoegaarden (along with Doctor Draw and Yeep) rose to Vice President of Goonswarm during the Goonfleet Target Practice era of early '06. Shortly thereafter he became Remedial's second in command, overseeing every aspect of Goonfleet except Sesfan's PvP wing.

As Remedial became more and more burnt out with the stress of failing to invade Outer Ring, he eventually stepped down in favor of Hoegaarden. The XZH campaign started the first Sunday of Hoegaarden's CEOship, one day after his infamous State of the Goonion with parrots squawking in the background. Remedial returned to Goonfleet to take command of the PVP wing after the newly burnt out Sesfan had all but resigned, Hoegaarden immediately began to clash with Remedial's dictatorial style of leadership. The lovably pedantic Cefte leaked the director forum thread in which Rem and Hoe went back and forth. Hoegaarden wrote the following on EVE-O in a thread with the leaked director drama thread:

"He has now decided to launch an even further reaching war in an attempt to keep the Alliance unified behind him and is silencing all dissent on our forums claiming that it only serves to hamper our efforts now. I look forward to the date when open discourse will be allowed, because my prediction is that it will come long after Tranquility is permanently offlined.

I wish no harm upon GoonFleet as I have poured the last 9 months of my life into making it work and do not seek to destroy it in bitterness. I only hope that one day people will recognize that Remedial is not the best leader for GoonFleet just because he founded it. I also seek a recognition that his behavior in this instance was childish and unnecessary and that the reaction on the forums, which has been silenced, be allowed to continue so that Remedial's overinflated ego be brought down a bit when he sees that not all of GoonFleet believes what he did was right.

--Hoegaarden, 2006.07.16 [1]

He was immediatly kicked out and never attempted to return to Goonfleet proper. It was a number of months before Hoegaarden surfaced due to his 'fuck goons' drama.

History would seem to have vindicated him somewhat, except that his manner of going fuck goons was to attempt to use a (nonfunctional) game mechanic to forcibly seize CEOship of Goonfleet from Remedial during a critical time when we needed to make use of his CEO abilities. Hoegaarden maintains that this was nothing more than a drunken joke which got out of hand. Had Hoegaarden managed to do this, he could have maintained control of the corp indefinitely, kicked anyone he didn't like out, or even disbanded the corp. It could have irreparably fractured goonfleet and prevented us from achieving the heights of glory that we have since obtained. It was was only averted by the Mittani betraying his plan to Remedial, giving Fatkao enough of a heads up to shut off the internet connection he had been providing to Hoegaarden.

Hoegaarden had earlier collaborated with the (increasingly insane) Doctor Draw to form the Greater Goon, aka Groon. Supposedly a less serious alternative to Goonfleet, it initially seemed to be some sort of villains' gallery of people that had gone Fuck Goons due to its policy allowing all Goons to join regardless of past actions.

Time eventually healed our wounds, however and Groon returned to the swarm. But then Darius kicked them for being useless, while Hoegaarden was off campaigning for Obama in New Hampshire.