Part of a series on
Presently led by Vio Geraci and just full of sassy agents looking to fuck somebody over. To join, contact him on jabber or via forum Private Message.
Qualities of a Good Spy
So you want to be a spy? Spies provide GIA and the directors with valuable sources of intel. One well placed spy in a director level position can wreak havoc with enemies. By working as a spy, you help to ensure that Goons live and enemies die. To be a good spy requires real life skills, and is not for everybody.Some skills required by a good spy:
Diplomacy - Dealing with pubbies 24/7 is annoying as hell. In order to tolerate them, and actually thrive among them, you need to be a diplomat of the first order.
Acting - We goons have a certain lingo. In order to be a successful spy, you must adopt the lingo and mannerisms of the organization you are infiltrating so as not to arouse suspicion while making them believe in you.
Greed - The best spy is a greedy spy. He/She wants nothing more than to enter an enemy corp, get into a position of leadership, feed GIA with valuable intel while preparing a mega-heist of epic proportions as a final 'Fuck you'. There is nothing so beautiful as the extraction of wealth, followed by quickly re-purposing it to serve GF needs.
Ambition - The best spies rise to a position of leadership in targeted organizations. This gives the best extra possibilities to abuse roles, and to know the most secret of internal corp discussions.
Charisma - Let's face it, no one wants to be led by some space nerd. You can be a fuckup so long as you are charismatic - case in point, Bill Clinton. You need to be that charismatic figure that encourages fucktard pubbies to follow you.
Knowledge of game mechanics - A good spy reports in on a regular basis, but knowing what kind of information is valuable to GIA and the directors requires deep knowledge of game mechanics. You need to know the game in order to know what is good intel, so you can feed the warmachine.
Historic GIA Operatives
Jacob Majestic Fucks ISS
Jacob Majestic as Lilithine Ki. http://www.goonfleet.com/showthread.php?t=33724
Nearly since the beginnning of the Swarm, Jacob Majestic has been with us, in the form of his alt Lilithine Ki. His main remained in ISS as one of the primary 'Admirals' of the ISSN Task Force, guardians of truth, neutrality, and roleplaying space merchants the galaxy over.
At some point, it became clear that basically everything ISS was about was bullshit. The epiphany happened during the BoB invasion, when Jacob stuck up for us on eve-o and was stripped of his position entirely for daring to say anything negative about BoB or pro-goon, despite having worked for ISS for more than a year, from its very founding.
I recieved an evemail: "I'm done with pubbies. I'm coming home."
Jacob agreed to stay within ISSN, regain his roles, and become a GIA agent, despite the horrors of spending another 5 months with ISS pubbies and their nauseating, mind-shattering hypocrisy and pathetic mewling mercantile ideology.
Gradually, the GIA began to infiltrate ISS. Which actually isn't a big deal to really chestbeat over, as they have no intelligence program whatsoever. For gods sakes, we had a sticky on Spacegbs and they were caught by susprise by our attack.
Anyways, we waited until 4:00 evetime and struck in F4R. The ISSN deathstars, many of which had 15-20 hardeners, each designed to take maximum time and annoyance for our dreads, were yanked offline. We had a scary moment when an ISSN director discovered what was afoot and managed to turn a couple of those POS's back online, but in that 30 minute window we blew up all the modules (where are your hardeners now, ISS?) and then bashed them into reinforced with ease. IAC promptly replaced the newly emptied moons with their own towers.
Travelling to ZXIC, the factory station and base of the ISSN hangars in the area, Jacob took, well, everything. The assets screen lagged horribly whenever a select-all/drag was performed, because over 600 stacks of items, many of them t2 and named modules, were stripped away. No fancy bpos, alas, but ISSN was already broke given the IAC war.
Perhaps most amusingly, Jacob had gotten Count TaSeienne to buy him a Thanatos before this all began for his loyal service.
So, today, the GIA welcomes home one of its heroes from the midsts of blithering pubbies. He brings with him a faction-fitted carrier bought and paid for by the enemy, billions in assets stolen, and best of all he brings us a slew of empty moons.
Vile Rat Fucks Lotka Volterra
Blitter Fucks Veritas Immortalis
Ish Bosheth Fucks FiX Out of Their IAC Counteroffensive
Randuin Fucks Knights of the Southerncross Out of An Entire Region
Jotram Fucks Some Northern Corp For Like 140 Billion ISK