Goons, Friends of Goons, and Faggots

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Sherkaner Lumpen explaining Goon politics to a non-Goon member of Goonswarm:

'Round these here parts there's three kinds of people. Goons, friends of goons, and faggots.

Now it's real obvious who's a goon, and it's real easy to make friends with 'em cause they're so trusting and naive. Shit, you get friendly with the goons and they'll not only invite you to dinner, but they'll even let you camp up in the hayloft and maybe even fuck their sister. Or show you pictures of their sister fingering another chick.

Once you get used to it, life amongst the goons is downright idyllic. You get lots of money without hardly trying and there's always some hootin' an' hollerin' excitement a-goin' on. You might even get yerself one o' them-thar spacestations 't look after, if you can keep it.

But don't let them catch you being a faggot. Ain't nothing those goons hate more than faggotry from someone who ain't a goon like they is. And once they catch a whiff of pubbie faggot on ya, well boy, you might as well just pack your shit and head for empire because a mob of goons will drag ass all over 0.0 just to ruin your day. And goons don't never get over a grudge.

In fact, it seems that lots of times the goons will make friends just secretly hoping that one day that friend will turn out to be a faggot after all, just so they have more people for their endless feudin' and fightin'.

It's just their way, ain't no understandin' it.

Brisco Smiley explaining the Goon mentality behind JihadSwarm to other pubbies on Eve-o

As a reply to: I read from a few Goons that people mining ice in Minmatar space wouldn't be shot at, or at least mining for Hydrogen Isotopes.

Considering where they come from, I wouldn't bet a ship on it. This is not some sinister campaign to shape the galaxy as they see fit. It is a sinister campaign to unshape the galaxy as they see unfit. These are people driven tragically sane by the campaign of aggressive mediocrity we call civilization. They hate everything that is normal, mundane, accepted and safe. They have some sort of cultural need to make people fear the things they take for granted. The amorphous and inscrutable fury of an anonymous mob spares no one. GoonSwarm isn't really an organization, the way most people use the word. They're more of an ongoing riot with a web site.

ianag. ymmv. ttfn.


Brisco Smiley

Duckmonster being a tremendous faggot

Imagine an Abram's tank blasting its way into a hostile battlefield and destroying everything in its path. It stops, pops the lid, and out falls 50 clowns with floppy boots and honking noses all flapping about and tripping over each other and shit. That's how RA + GS roll together.